ME and Ophelia

Friday, May 28, 2004

Maybe It's Time To Seek Other Employment...

On Labor Day weekend 2000, Eric and Kat Meyer moved in to their lovely house and have set about making it a home ever since. These are reported to be actual lines out of OER (Officer Efficiency Report), which are performance appraisals for the military, writes Eric in his post Maybe It's Time To Seek Other Employment...

▪ Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
▪ Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.
▪ A room temperature IQ.
▪ Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.
▪ A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
▪ A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.
▪ A prime candidate for natural deselection.
▪ Bright as Alaska in December.
▪ One-celled organisms out-score him in IQ tests.
▪ Donated his body to science before he was done using it.
▪ Fell out of the family tree.
▪ Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
▪ Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
▪ He's so dense, light bends around him.
▪ If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.
▪ If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
▪ If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.
▪ If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
▪ It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.
▪ One neuron short of a synapse.
▪ Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.
▪ Takes him 1 1/2 hours to watch 60 minutes.
▪ Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby.
▪ Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.

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148,587 pings served

On Ping-o-Matic! ping page I've entered my URL, ticked all the boxes and bookmarked the page my menu bar. Now I can fast ping almost a dozen services a single click away. Ping at Ping-O-Matic after editing a post to update it, as most blog packages are set up to ping only when there's a new post. [Thanks Lisa]

# posted by Ingrid J. Jones @ 5/28/2004
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