ME and Ophelia

A TOKEN OF LOVE
On Valentine's Day



Fact of the Day

It may be Valentine's Day but war and death abounds throughout history today. On this day:

In 1779 Captain Cook was killed in the Sandwich Islands.

In 1900, 20,000 British troops invaded South Africa's Orange Free State. Chicago saw the St. Valentine's Day Massacre in 1929.

In 1945 the Allies began to fire-bomb Dresden, leading to the deaths of at least 25,0000 people.

To keep things jolly, 1989 saw Ayatollah Khomeini issue a fatwa encouraging Muslims to kill Salman Rushdie, author of The Satanic Verses.

If all that has left you depressed and you are unattached, cheer yourself up with a date.


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Similarity 'makes happy marriage'

People who pick partners with a similar personality to themselves could be helping to guarantee matrimonial bliss. When dealing with the day-to-day stresses of life, opposites do not attract, US scientists say. Happier couples were the ones who were more similarly matched. People have these beliefs that birds of a feather flock together and research backs this up. Full Story.
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Congrats to Charles and Camilla

The Prince of Wales is set to marry his long-term partner Camilla Parker Bowles on Friday April 8th. The wedding will be a civil ceremony followed by a service of prayer and dedication in St George's Chapel. After the marriage Mrs Parker Bowles will take the title HRH Duchess of Cornwall, changing to the Princess Consort when Charles becomes King. The heir to the throne was previously married to Princess Diana, who died in a car crash in Paris in 1997. Q&A on Charles and Camilla.

After 30 years of knowing each other, good luck to them I say. Prince Charles is a widower and is lucky that he can now marry the love of his life. There is not enough love in the world. I like Prince Charles and think he is under rated and misunderstood. Click here to read what others think in the comments at BBC online.
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Life begins at 50

There are more people in the over-50s age group in Britain getting divorced than ever before, figures from the Office of National Statistics show.

A survey found the main reasons couples split was the sudden realisation they had spent years focusing on being parents at the expense of being partners, and the re-evaluation of what they wanted from the rest of their lives. The website over50s.com has been running a dating service since it launched in 1999 and now boasts more than 250,000 registered users.

Managing director Geoff Ellis says almost three-quarters of the site's clients are women. Some are looking for friendship, others for a long-term relationship - but all are looking for something new. "People who are 50 these days are acting like they are 40," he says. Full Story.

Note, the report says dating websites for the over-50s are growing.
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More are marrying, figures reveal

"Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet" - Mae West

There are 6 billion people on this planet. But not everyone needs to be as part of a couple. I've read somewhere that one quarter of adults live alone quite happily.

See Why marry?
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Easing the pain of a break-up

Relationship counselling groups Relate and Couple Counselling Scotland think there are some strategies for lessening the damage. Here are their tips for talking through a break-up.



Not all relationships have happy endings - but there are strategies to cope.
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Unrequited love can be a 'killer'

Lovesickness can kill and should be taken more seriously as a legitimate diagnosis, according to health experts. Experts say people can die from a broken heart.

Dr Tallis said that before the 18th Century, lovesickness had been accepted as a natural state of mind for thousands of years. He said in modern day terms the symptoms can include mania, such as an elevated mood and inflated self-esteem, or depression, revealing itself as tearfulness and insomnia.

Aspects of obsessive compulsive disorder can also be found in those experiencing lovesickness, such as preoccupation and obsessively checking for text messages and e-mails. Full Story.


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Online dating 'good for romance'

Dating websites can give people a "surprisingly high" chance of long-term romance, suggests a study published on St Valentine's Day.

Could internet dating lead to a life-long match? Some 94% of UK online agency customers questioned saw their "e-partner" again after the first face-to-face meeting. Bath University psychologist, Jeff Gavin, surveyed 229 adults, finding web dating worked "for many people".

Only 9% of chatroom users chose to converse via a webcam, most "shying away" in favour of "text-based relationships".

Those people who wrote letters or sent gifts tended to help strengthen their bond.

Almost one in five of those interviewed had started a relationship lasting more than a year via a dating website. Dr Gavin said this represented a "similar level of success" to partners who had met "in more conventional ways".

Male website customers tended to be "more committed" than female ones, as subsequent chatroom conversations gave them a way to express their feelings which did not normally exist.

Dr Gavin added: "Lots of people join sites because they don't get time to go to bars and clubs to meet.

"When online dating agencies first started they were quite standard. Nowadays there are all sorts of niches.

"There are gym-goers' sites, where fit people meet other fit people, Christian sites and university graduate sites - it's incredibly diverse." Full Story

Note, the report says UK-based internet dating agencies have an estimated six million subscribers.



Web romance 'fuels divorce rise'

Websites which help people look up old flames on the net may be adding to the UK's rising divorce rate, it is claimed - and long hours in the office may make couples more likely to grow apart. The number of couples getting divorced is at its highest level for seven years, official figures for 2003 show.

Relationship experts at Relate said the increasing number of people going to websites like Friends Reunited to look up old partners was having an impact.

Almost 12 million people - around 47% of UK internet users - were registered on the site. There are very, very occasionally unhappy stories. For every one unhappy story there are literally hundreds of happy customers.

Divorce rates have risen over the past three years since falling back from the level reached in 1996, the Office for National Statistics said. The average age at which couples split is increasing, at almost 42 for men and 39-and-a-half for women.

Couples are also staying together for slightly longer, with the average up from 11.1 years in 2002 to 11.3 years before they part company.

Just over half the couples who divorced last year had at least one child aged under 16.

More than 150,000 children were in families where the parents divorced last year - and a fifth of those were under five.

Denise Knowles, of Relate, said: "The figures are very upsetting and have to be a concern for us all. We need to make sure people are properly prepared for marriage because there is sometimes an unrealistic expectation. People go into marriage thinking about the lovely wedding day and assuming the rest of your life will echo that but it is just the beginning." Full Story
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Valentine's date for 'love birds'



Two swans who fell in love at a bird sanctuary are to be released back into the wild on Valentine's day. Full Story.

Happy Valentine's Day blogmates, with love from Ingrid and Ophelia xx